The End of My Interlude

Over the past six months it's as if my life has just taken off at a speed I can barely keep up with. It's been invigorating to say the least. Everyday at least once I feel a sweet tightening in my chest as I think about richness that fills my life. I am so content. As impossible as it seems, I have literally not had one single bad day for months and months. I've had lots of stress, yes-- but running several times a week gave me enough mind orgasms to neutralize that out for sure. A long time ago I couldn't sleep because I was so miserable, but now I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about the beauty in my life. (I can't win! lol) I'm just so excited. Filled with passion. I've gotten to know so many fantastic people, continued to grow everyday, and all the while accomplishing things I never even imagined myself doing only a few years ago. The optomism in me that had been stifled for so long is back. :)

Presently, my life is about to drastically change once more. In less than one month I'm moving to Copenhagen, Denmark to study psychology and sexualities for six months. Despite my wariness of having a host family I'm giving it another try. I'm starting to feel the nerves of what might lie ahead. My previous exchange to Japan really shook me up. It's almost as if this next experience is a test to see what I've made of myself. I watched a commerical in Danish the other day and remembered the frustration and isolation of not being able to communicate and feeling completely alone. It just sounded like jibberish to me. I don't even know the word 'hello'. However, I think the fact that I understand this and what it will mean for me already puts me at an advantage. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm getting myself into. I know this time around that there are people to talk to and loneliness is not something to be afraid of. It's a natural experience and, if anything, makes me feel more alive and connected with my own humanity. I'm actually pretty excited to see how I handle these challenges.

If anything, I think the most difficult thing to overcome will probably be homesickness. When I was in Japan, I never really felt homesick. I can recall only once where I suddenly and desperately missed my sister, but most of my challenges were in relation to adjusting to the culture and losing the liberation of my adulthood. When I had left the U.S., my friends had already moved away, school was finished, and I was restless and ready to go. This time around, I've just made all of these great friendships with some pretty great people who truly care about me. I'm finally settling into my new life. I know it could be pretty hard at first to have to start all over again meeting people in a new country. However, I do know that the people who matter and are meant to stay in my life will still be in it when I return.

I'm not really sure what to expect out of the next 6-10 months. When I travel I usually don't bother with imagining what it'll be like because honestly, I don't want to disappoint myself and I like the suprise element makes the experience that much richer. I prepare for the facts I know and just take it from there. It's much more fun that way. Either way, everytime I get nervous I look for other people's experiences in Denmark and their stories reassure me. Everything will be okay.

So here I go again, on my own. ;9