Snippets of Time

Sun. October 8, 2006 Culture shock, Kagoshima, Japan

"You know how in America there are the rules that are set, but there are still people that are like 'oh, if they don't find out, it doesn't matter, just keep in on the down-low' and they just don't care? Well, it's not like that here and it's so fricken frustrating! At school you can't wear earrings, jewelry, headbands, perm or dye your hair, and you can't straighten it either, or wear make-up or even pluck your eyebrows. I'm ust like aah!! Fuck you!! I'm plucking my fucking eyebrows!!! AHHH!!! *plucks!!* And when Natsuki asked if I was wearing make-up 'cause she couldn't tell, I was like, 'yeah I am'. And she goes 'ooh, you can't do that! It's against the rules!' I'm just thinking so fucking what? You couldn't even tell and I feel better with it on so, so fucking what? Hm? What! I'm gonna wear some fucking make-up! Aaah!! I refuse to neglect my personal hygiene just because someone says I have to. Immature? Maybe. I was really upset about this yesterday and my host family kept asking if I was okay, but I just gave the good ol' "tired" excuse. I would talk to them about it, but we've already been through this before. All I get is 'Ooh! That's the rules!' and 'It's the Japanese manner'. And in my frustration all I can think is 'Well, I'm an American and I'm gonna pluck my fucking eyebrows and wear mascara! Aah!! ...Things aren't as horrible as they sound. It just gets difficult sometimes."

Fri. 2007/1/12 In the hospital - Kagoshima, Japan

"I feel really happy right now. It just... everything seems like it might be okay now I think and so many people are there for me and it's just like a nice calm after the storm I guess. Mom called and so did Tawnie. I got to talk to Stefani and Jami which really made me happy. I woke up to strawberries and the biggest orange in the world (lol) that Mr. Motomura left me while I was sleeping. He also came to visit me this evening and it was really nice talking with him while I ate dinner. I want to be able to travel like him someday. He's been to 30 countries! Sugoi!!"

Wed. September 8, 2008 Hanoi, Vietnam
"...everything is just so different and overwhelming. I was so terrified to cross the street the first time. Mopeds and cars are just coming at you in all directions and there aren't any stop lights. I wasn't sure if I was make it... I really had to work myself up for it. It was the biggest adrenaline rush ever, man."

Sat. November 8, 2008 Oahu
"I've been feeling a lot better here. I wonder if it's the sun, the atmosphere or the lack of responsibilites or... I don't know... It reminds me of that gentle sweetness that rolls over my tongue when I drink licorice tea."

Thurs. July 23, 2009 In flight to The Netherlands
"Soooo... here I am after slaving away for 2 years just to do something for myself for once. I'm sitting in the airport in Frankfort, Germany at around 10:30am and it's oooh... 1am in Oregon right now. I feel so calm...
"There's a huge sense of freedom encircling me right now. I'm unsure of what to think of it. I'm excited but I can't quite grasp the magnitude of it. I mean, I don't have to cater to a single fricken thing anyone says. I don't have to worry about making everyone happy or deal with people being domineering over my choices, thoughts, feelings--whatever!! God, this is so new and I'm so ready for this! In one month I managed to turn my whole life around. What could happen in this month? I imagine I'll grow everyday. I've made it this far. I've changed so much.
"You know, on the plane I was watching these wildlife conservation videos and I was just thinking how awesome it would be to just move to Southeast Asia or Africa or something with the love of my life, raise a family, and work rescuing animals from poachers or the black market. I just wanna save nature-- save the animals and make a difference. If I could find someone to share that with, how wonderful would that be! I could live the rest of my life like that.
"God... look at what I've done--what I've accomplished. I almost feel like crying. It's amazing and I'm so thankful. I'm one of the most fortunate people I know."