Settling.

I think I'm finally starting to settle in after two weeks, although I'm still exhausted most of the time. During one of my classes I nearly fell out of my chair because I started falling asleep... whoops. Before I left I was really excited about meeting many new people, going out etc. which I still am of course, but my priorities have really started to shift since classes started. This academic program is just so much better than PSU. On wednesday I went on a field study with my 'psychology of the criminal mind' class to see a man who had been convicted of homicide and finished his time in Denmark's infamous open prison system. I learned about Denmark's rehabilition programs, the way their prison system works and what it's like to begin a new life after being released from prison. It was fascinating.

In my other class, human trafficking, we had to watch the movie Lilya 4-ever. It's about the true story (and they really do stick to the true story) of 16 year old Estonian girl who is abandoned by her mother and sold into prostitution in Sweden. The film does an excellent job of representing the vulnerability and helplessness of people who are trafficked, but it's really hard to watch towards the end. The girl sitting next to me immediately fled the class bawling her eyes out after it finished. I also just finished reading The Road of Lost Innocence by Somaly Mam. I highly recommend looking into both of these. Although they're painful to read/watch, they are raw and show the world as it is --no sugar coating--for millions of women and children. Yes, I said millions. Jesus Christ. There are more people today who are being trafficked than there were during the old slave trade. It's absolutely horrible.

This class is definitely going to be dark one. I can tell that my professor wants us to be deeply affected by the information she's giving us and I already am, but I'm also really excited too. She's going to be giving us the tools to actually do something about it. Finally! We're going to get training in social work. For so long I've been learning about the poverty, oppression, trauma-- whatever--that human beings face, and I've constantly been thinking "What can I do to fix this? What can I do to help? Where do I start?" The only thing I ever hear is that I need to donate money to this or that etc to help the victims, but what about prevention work? I want to know about that and I want to get involved. And I'm very happy to finally have the opportunity to learn how.

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes. :) I think I'll end this with a little glimpse of some of the delicious food I've been eating so far (especially my host mom's). It's all sooo yummy! I'd totally be jealous. ;P

Tata!

Exploring

Well, it's been a busy first week here in Denmark. During my classes many of us American students have been asked why we decided to pick this little country among so many others as the one we would reside in for the next six months. One of the reasons many people gave was that they want to know why the Danish are so happy. This country is constantly ranked the happiest in the world after all. Today I got to watch this video clip of a 60 Minutes special that explains Danish culture and its relation to happiness very well. It's really good:

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4181996n&tag=related;photovideo


One of the things in the video that touched me was the theory that Danes have low expectations, therefore they are rarely disappointed and more content with life. After various difficult experiences in my own life I have ended up thinking the same thing and I believe I even mention it in an earlier entry. If I expect nothing from anyone and only truly rely on myself, I will not be disappointed over and over. Honestly, I don't feel like this is a pessimistic way of thinking for me. I think it's simply realistic. I expect nothing and hope for the best because despite anyone's good intentions, we are all at least a little selfish and have to look out for ourselves. When I had changed my thinking to this, I began noticing my good experiences more often than the bad ones. If someone did something kind to me, I was much more joyous about it because I had not expected their kindness at all. Perhaps it's a part of why I am so happy all of the time nowadays?


Anyway, I'm not trying to create some debate on the philosphy of life and happiness and it doesn't mean I tolerate being disrespected either. These are just passing thoughts as I connect with the world around me. I really want to understand this country I live in and make it a part of my life.

On Saturday, after a crazy smokey night at a night club (with free booze!) full of 699 other twenty-year-old drunk and horny DIS students, my host mom took my sleepy self to Christiania. This is a sort of state within a state or a really large commune in the middle of Copenhagen. Basically, it's full of hippies who made the place they started out squatting in, which use to be an abandoned military base, their permanent home. It started out as a kind of societal experiment and it's been around for over 40 years, but it's on valuable land and right now decisions on if it should last are going up to the highest court in Denmark.

Picture time!:

This is the chart of rules Christiania goes by. It started out as more of an anarchist commune, but that led to various problems so now hard drugs, private vehicles, weapons, violence, biker colors (Copenhagen is having a lot of problems with Hell's Angels right now. Who knew?) etc. are no longer allowed.

A simple shop that looked completely awesome inside. Another example of how the Danish make sure the inside of their homes etc have a unique and cozy atmosphere.

















Everything, and I mean everything is covered in graffiti. It's pretty intense sometimes.
















The main entrance. How quaint. :)












And a lot of the graffiti was beautiful too.

















The government has tapped all phone lines to prevent hard drug trade and marijuana from being sold outside of Christiania.















"The dream that never dies. Longing for freedom."











Over the river that goes through Christiania with my host mom. It was completely frozen over! (and I nearly was too. >.>) Never seen that before!










The Swedish embassy in Christiania because apparently the Sweds who come there tend to drink/smoke too much and cause trouble. Didn't expect that did you?

I really enjoyed my time there and I think my host mom had a good time too. It was definitely a great and enlightening experience even though during the best part you weren't allowed to take pictures. That was on Pusher Street. All the buildings were spray painted that colorful psychedelic way. There was even a 10ft memorial painting of Nataja, a singer who had been friends with many of the people who lived in Christiania, but died at about my age in a car crash in Jamaica. There were large dogs running around, people huddled by scattered fire barrels and several stands selling large (and I mean large) amounts of pot and hash. The atmosphere had that sweet air of wildness I absolutely revel in. I think it's really interesting to imagine what it would be like to live in such a tight-knit community where things are traded and everyone just chills out, smokes pot, paints the walls and lives for freedom. Perhaps I'm getting too unrealistic, haha.

This Wednesday I'm excited because I'll be going there again with my Danish language class. And this time, I'll be wearing my wool hiking socks. I forgot wear them on Saturday and I thought my toes were going to fall off.

Peace!

Brr.

Over the past several days I've been settling into my new home. My host mom is just so happy all of the time. She and Linnea are also very close. It kind of makes me sad that such good things are so foreign and strange to me, but I'm happy to be experiencing it right now.I feel very welcomed and comfortable here. I've been pretty nervous about doing the whole host family thing again after the crap that went down in Japan, but based on experiences other people have had with their host families, I know giving it another try is definitely not a bad idea.

As I was walking home from the train station I was thinking about how much easier and just... nicer it's been this time around so far. I've instantly met many new friends, I'm welcomed here everyday, and have a lot of support through the DIS program. My host family also doesn't make assumptions about me and seem to be open and accepting. Sometimes they look at something I'm doing that's apparently strange (what don't I do that's strange? lol) and ask "Is that something Americans do you or is it just you?" and then we all laugh. I love that they ask me that. :) It's really hard to open up and make myself so vulnerable again and again, but I know that's a huge part of growing as a person, making sweet memories, and truly connecting with other wonderful people, so I'm doing my best despite how paralyzingly terrified I feel sometimes. But yeah. It's only been five days since I got here so I'll try not to get ahead of myself, haha.

Anyway, a something I've noticed: despite the icey, gray winter outside, the Danes seem to keep the inside of their homes/buildings very cozy (and amazingly decorated, too! It's so cool!). I've noticed they also really, really like candles. My room has tealights all over the place. I was told by one of the Danish professors that the candles are supposed to traditionally "chase away the dark of winter". I love the romantic calm of it and definitely want to bring this part of the culture back to the states.


This morning the sun decided to show itself for the first time since I arrived and it was beautiful:

Since Monday, I've been going through orienation at school. There are 700 students here from the US. Usually we spend a few hours in the morning listening to information about extracurricular activites, living with a host family etc, the Danish culture, and then are sent away on 3-6 hour scavenger hunts throughout Copenhagen. We all end up grouping with random people and searching around for grocery stores, DIS buildings, libraries etc. It's pretty fun, but veeery cold. Unless I wear the wool hiking socks my mom got me, all my toes are numb by the time we finish. >.> The first day we all ended up in H&M and drinking too much coffee to keep warm. And everyday I regret drinking coffee because not only is it at least $7 for a cheap cup, but I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack and die once the caffine kicks in. But it's just so warm and delicious that I buy it again anyway. >.<

Here's some of the places I've been exploring on my long scavenger hunts:

This is at the changing of the guard at the royal palace. I love their hats! (And yes, he's pissed.) If you get too close they'll slam their guns on the ground. It's so loud and scares the crap out of everyone nearby. If you get too, too close apparently they'll just wack you with them. Ouch.

Danishes! Sooo tasty!

I really can't wait to get settled into a nice routine with school, friends, host family, travel etc. (although I'm dreading the several research papers looming ahead). Yesterday I just found out that I'm not actually going to Scotland like I thought. I'm going to Italy instead! :O Definitely can't complain there. I think all of my classes are going to be very hands on which I'm very excited about. Reading text and then getting tested on the text is so... lame. Class here is actually scheduled Monday & Tuesday, and Thursday & Friday, with Wednesday being saved for the many field studies my classes have in which we'll be going on field trips to museums, listening to guest speakers, going to the redlight district, and even to gay bars (with spending money to buy beer!) to interview gay Danish men about their views of homosexuality in Scandinavia. I can't wait for all of the learning ahead of me! So excited! :)

Here I am~

I've arrived in Copenhagen, Denmark. It's pretty cold and grey here, and the ground is covered with with random piles of that dirty left-over snow. It's not the prettest place in the dead of winter. However, those dark, skeleton-like trees are everywhere so I have a feeling spring will be full of beautiful blossoms (hopefully minus the allergies). There's also a large park behind my new home that leads directly to the beach of a sea I don't know the name of. I can't wait to explore the area and go running, too.

My 16 hour flight went pretty well. I managed to sleep through most of the first half due to the exhausted state I seem to magically keep myself in 24/7. Landing in Chicago was pretty cool. The ground was a white I've never seen before.

My next flight to Amsterdam was also pretty cool. So many little things happened during those 16 hours that are what I think make travel so great, but I can't remember most of them now because I was too tired to write last night. However, I do remember the flight attendant chic who's hair was done mini-super sayan style. Pretty damn cool if you ask me. I tried not to stare, I really did, but everytime she walked by Vegeta popped into my head and I couldn't pull my eyes away. As we landed there, I looked outside and the sea was filled with giant windmills. Seriously, these things are at least 100ft high. It looked really cool.

Another silly little thing I remember happened when I arrived in Copenhagen. The airport floor in the baggage claim area was incredibly smooth in a slippery sort of way and I had decided to load my baggage into a cart while I walked to the area where I would be picked up instead of carrying it all. Well, I happened to go down a little hill. The floor was so slippery that I couldn't stop the weight of the cart from speeding down the hill so I ended up being dragged along, awkwardly sliding down the hill with my cart and my legs stuck straight down in front of me all the while laughing because I felt so ridiculous. Good times.

I've met my host family and they seem very kind. My host mom, Dorte, is 48, divorced and has a daughter, Linnea, who is 14. They get along so well and the lack of tension in this home is very foreign in a relaxing way I welcome with open arms. I don't want to jinx myself, but I think things will go pretty well with us. Japan has taught me a lot of lessons I won't have relearn the hard way and I'm thankful for the ease of my first couple days. And look at my room! It's so cozy and cool! I even have wireless internet. :) (That stuffed dog scared the crap out of me at first every time I walked into my room because I kept thinking it was real... >.>)

So here I am living in Denmark, the happiest country in the world where Lego and the Little Mermaid were created. The divorce rate is 35%, their gender equality is ranked as one of the best in the world despite the fact the 90% of the highest government employees are male. They have no national debt and there's pretty blue eyeballs paired with shockingly real blonde hair everywhere. Right now we have about seven hours of daylight a day. Yes, the sun does set at about three-thirty. By May, we will have seventeen hours of daylight a day.

Crazy, no?

The Push.

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.”
– Mark Jenkins

5/18/10
I'm free and the world is sitting next to me, open and unhindered. It's raw and horrendous and filled with hope.

My hunger for life is insatiable.

The End of My Interlude

Over the past six months it's as if my life has just taken off at a speed I can barely keep up with. It's been invigorating to say the least. Everyday at least once I feel a sweet tightening in my chest as I think about richness that fills my life. I am so content. As impossible as it seems, I have literally not had one single bad day for months and months. I've had lots of stress, yes-- but running several times a week gave me enough mind orgasms to neutralize that out for sure. A long time ago I couldn't sleep because I was so miserable, but now I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about the beauty in my life. (I can't win! lol) I'm just so excited. Filled with passion. I've gotten to know so many fantastic people, continued to grow everyday, and all the while accomplishing things I never even imagined myself doing only a few years ago. The optomism in me that had been stifled for so long is back. :)

Presently, my life is about to drastically change once more. In less than one month I'm moving to Copenhagen, Denmark to study psychology and sexualities for six months. Despite my wariness of having a host family I'm giving it another try. I'm starting to feel the nerves of what might lie ahead. My previous exchange to Japan really shook me up. It's almost as if this next experience is a test to see what I've made of myself. I watched a commerical in Danish the other day and remembered the frustration and isolation of not being able to communicate and feeling completely alone. It just sounded like jibberish to me. I don't even know the word 'hello'. However, I think the fact that I understand this and what it will mean for me already puts me at an advantage. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm getting myself into. I know this time around that there are people to talk to and loneliness is not something to be afraid of. It's a natural experience and, if anything, makes me feel more alive and connected with my own humanity. I'm actually pretty excited to see how I handle these challenges.

If anything, I think the most difficult thing to overcome will probably be homesickness. When I was in Japan, I never really felt homesick. I can recall only once where I suddenly and desperately missed my sister, but most of my challenges were in relation to adjusting to the culture and losing the liberation of my adulthood. When I had left the U.S., my friends had already moved away, school was finished, and I was restless and ready to go. This time around, I've just made all of these great friendships with some pretty great people who truly care about me. I'm finally settling into my new life. I know it could be pretty hard at first to have to start all over again meeting people in a new country. However, I do know that the people who matter and are meant to stay in my life will still be in it when I return.

I'm not really sure what to expect out of the next 6-10 months. When I travel I usually don't bother with imagining what it'll be like because honestly, I don't want to disappoint myself and I like the suprise element makes the experience that much richer. I prepare for the facts I know and just take it from there. It's much more fun that way. Either way, everytime I get nervous I look for other people's experiences in Denmark and their stories reassure me. Everything will be okay.

So here I go again, on my own. ;9

Snippets of Time

Sun. October 8, 2006 Culture shock, Kagoshima, Japan

"You know how in America there are the rules that are set, but there are still people that are like 'oh, if they don't find out, it doesn't matter, just keep in on the down-low' and they just don't care? Well, it's not like that here and it's so fricken frustrating! At school you can't wear earrings, jewelry, headbands, perm or dye your hair, and you can't straighten it either, or wear make-up or even pluck your eyebrows. I'm ust like aah!! Fuck you!! I'm plucking my fucking eyebrows!!! AHHH!!! *plucks!!* And when Natsuki asked if I was wearing make-up 'cause she couldn't tell, I was like, 'yeah I am'. And she goes 'ooh, you can't do that! It's against the rules!' I'm just thinking so fucking what? You couldn't even tell and I feel better with it on so, so fucking what? Hm? What! I'm gonna wear some fucking make-up! Aaah!! I refuse to neglect my personal hygiene just because someone says I have to. Immature? Maybe. I was really upset about this yesterday and my host family kept asking if I was okay, but I just gave the good ol' "tired" excuse. I would talk to them about it, but we've already been through this before. All I get is 'Ooh! That's the rules!' and 'It's the Japanese manner'. And in my frustration all I can think is 'Well, I'm an American and I'm gonna pluck my fucking eyebrows and wear mascara! Aah!! ...Things aren't as horrible as they sound. It just gets difficult sometimes."

Fri. 2007/1/12 In the hospital - Kagoshima, Japan

"I feel really happy right now. It just... everything seems like it might be okay now I think and so many people are there for me and it's just like a nice calm after the storm I guess. Mom called and so did Tawnie. I got to talk to Stefani and Jami which really made me happy. I woke up to strawberries and the biggest orange in the world (lol) that Mr. Motomura left me while I was sleeping. He also came to visit me this evening and it was really nice talking with him while I ate dinner. I want to be able to travel like him someday. He's been to 30 countries! Sugoi!!"

Wed. September 8, 2008 Hanoi, Vietnam
"...everything is just so different and overwhelming. I was so terrified to cross the street the first time. Mopeds and cars are just coming at you in all directions and there aren't any stop lights. I wasn't sure if I was make it... I really had to work myself up for it. It was the biggest adrenaline rush ever, man."

Sat. November 8, 2008 Oahu
"I've been feeling a lot better here. I wonder if it's the sun, the atmosphere or the lack of responsibilites or... I don't know... It reminds me of that gentle sweetness that rolls over my tongue when I drink licorice tea."

Thurs. July 23, 2009 In flight to The Netherlands
"Soooo... here I am after slaving away for 2 years just to do something for myself for once. I'm sitting in the airport in Frankfort, Germany at around 10:30am and it's oooh... 1am in Oregon right now. I feel so calm...
"There's a huge sense of freedom encircling me right now. I'm unsure of what to think of it. I'm excited but I can't quite grasp the magnitude of it. I mean, I don't have to cater to a single fricken thing anyone says. I don't have to worry about making everyone happy or deal with people being domineering over my choices, thoughts, feelings--whatever!! God, this is so new and I'm so ready for this! In one month I managed to turn my whole life around. What could happen in this month? I imagine I'll grow everyday. I've made it this far. I've changed so much.
"You know, on the plane I was watching these wildlife conservation videos and I was just thinking how awesome it would be to just move to Southeast Asia or Africa or something with the love of my life, raise a family, and work rescuing animals from poachers or the black market. I just wanna save nature-- save the animals and make a difference. If I could find someone to share that with, how wonderful would that be! I could live the rest of my life like that.
"God... look at what I've done--what I've accomplished. I almost feel like crying. It's amazing and I'm so thankful. I'm one of the most fortunate people I know."